Okay I'm probably a little old to need an Au pair to mind me, but if
I could have one I'd pick Gina. I'm well impressed with her resume - she was Miss Norway in 1998.

Things you find on ebay...

Collaboratively creating a dirty dirty language that helps you pay for sex :- Whorechalking

I just bought tickets for this show. I'm a fan of Steve Earle's music so I just hope there's more music than poetry reciting at this. Sill the Tony Fitzpatrick dude sounds interesting - somewhat of a maverick artist/poet by all accounts, and the show seems to have received good reviews in Chicago.

This is bound to send the Big Brother ratings plummeting. Now if it was Kate.....hmmm.

The 14th Galway Film Fleadh starts today. It seems to have a bit of a Bollywood flavour this year. I might try to catch Mullholland drive tomorrow. Apart from that and a few of the Spanish films there isn't a lot on the program that interests me. Which is good cos' I don't have much free time this week.

Here's an excellent blog on Northern Irish politics and culture:- Letter to Slugger O'Toole

Getting back to 'Minority Report' again; the critics' opinion seems to be quite divided on it. That pretty much matches the views of my friends who have seen it. Everyone agrees it's watchable and entertaining in parts. However some think it's awesome while others (me included) think that Spielberg has missed an opportunity to create a philosophically provocative and perceptive vision of the future.

How to be a right wing pundit in 12 easy lessons. Via Fark.

This kind of mix-up was bound to happen sooner or later: White IVF couple 'have black twins'.

Why would you even drink this pisswater let alone photograph it with an electron microscope?

Via email:-

Panic gripped the streets of Galway this afternoon when patches of sky
took on a blue colour and a ball of fire appeared above the city.

The Lord Mayor urged people to be calm and return to work as normal
instead of stripping off their hats, scarves and jackets and heading
to a beer garden for the afternoon. "We've seen this sort of thing
before", he said, "but it never lasts."

There are forecasts that this phenomenon, commonly found in
mediterranean countries and known as the "sun" could be seen
throughout the weekend but a spokesman for the Met Office said "I
wouldn't hold my breath".

Here's a cute little teddy for you.

Why Minority Report is a disappointment:

-It’s too long. Just when it should be ending, it starts again. It feels like it has a seven act structure when it could be done in three.
-It features too many cutsey, touchy feely Spielbergisms. Fake family scenes, cartoon baddies, get an obvious laugh type stuff (whats with the eyeball rolling scene – where’s the optic nerves?)
-Stylistically it’s not sure if it wants to be Gattaca, Blade Runner or maybe the Sixth Sense; they’ve saved money by using the sets left over from the last few Dreamworks productions.
-Ultimately, like A.I. it takes a fascinating idea, puts it through the Spielberg blender, changes the gray to black, whitens the white and turns out feel good, moral majority pleasing, entertainment lite.

On the plus side, the first 45 mins is pretty good and Colin Farrell puts in a cool performance. Also, the futuristic Washington traffic system is one of the more original things I seen since the suction tube transporters in Futurama (maybe).

I think I've watched more of Wimbledon this year than I have at any time since Borg and McEnroe were champions - mind you that wouldn't be difficult as I had long ago given up any semblance of an interest in the game on the premise that life was indeed too short. But this week, with time on my hands and the worst summer weather in Ireland since 1985 putting paid to my tentative plans to dig the garden, I’ve managed to catch maybe all of three complete sets of the game. Two of those sets involved each of the players who together constitute one of the sporting phenomena of our age –the Williams sisters of course. Yesterday morning Venus was ranked World No. 1 with Serena ranked as No.2. Today, the order is reversed with Serena ranked as No.1 and both are set to face each other in the Wimbledon Ladies final. It’s an incredible achievement for two African-American sisters from a rundown area of LA with no tradition of tennis in their family or community, coached by their father who learnt everything he knows about the game from tennis books. I think it’s a great story. Yes, there is some controversy around them of course; but there always is around non-establishment figures who come to dominate their sport. For now the question is who to support tomorrow. I’ll be rooting for the blonde.

Martin Ferris, Sinn Fein TD (member of parliment non-Irish heads) for Kerry North has been allocated the Agriculture and Marine portfolio in Sinn Fein's shadow cabinet. Ironic considering his experience of the marine sector comes mostly from his days as a gun runner (bit of a theme today - ref. Roger Casement below).

Here's another Irish blog: - Fluff. From Cork I think.

Give your car balls.

One of the enduring depates in Irish history is over the authenticity of the 'Black Diaries' of Roger Casement - the Irish patriot executed by the English as a traitor in 1916. These diaries were circulated during Casement's trial in order to implicate him in profligate homosexual behaviour and dissuade influential people from speaking out against his execution. The 1910 black diary is available online; mostly featuring entries from Casement's trip to the Amazon basin, it makes for an interesting read.

Predatory Snakehead Fish Found in Maryland Pond. Now thats what I call a headline.

The Big Brother housemates are like dogs in a pound according to Dr. Desmond Morris' analogy.

A blog about breasts.... also includes handy sex tips for big breasted ladies and advice to men on how to properly handle tits... and yes it was written by a woman so it's serious.

I've just noticed that Memepool coincidentally has a posting on the Beale papers from last Friday.

More cyptography via Singh's book - there's $30 million in hidden gold and silver somewhere in Virginia for anyone who can solve the encryption of the Beale Ciphers. They happen to be oldest unsolved codes in US history. Maybe they're a hoax, maybe not; it's a fascinating story nevertheless.

In spite of the contestants being the dullest of the dull, Big Brother can still throw up some entertainment - for the second week running I was delighted to see Tim's plans foiled, and it's particularily ironic that he finds himself isolated on the rich side of the house this week.

Good to see that Scott of "the Date Project" has found a girlfriend. Nothing to do with the project though - his friend set up the introduction.

Simon Singh's "The Code Book" had been languishing untouched and unread on my bookshelf for a year. Yesterday I decided that I now had the time and the motivation to finally read it. And what a fascinating read it is too. Reading the first chapter this morning about the part that cryptoanalysis played in the trial and execution of Mary Queen of Scots, it occured to me that the events of the Tudor era may arguably have been the most significant of the last 2000 years in shaping modern Britain. Can we say that the rise and success of Protestantism in Britain was primarily driven by the desire of one man (Henry VIII) to engage in personal and political behaviour unfettered by the mores of the Catholic establishment in Rome? I must track down a good biography of Henry VIII and do some more reading around this period in history.

Posting will be a bit sporadic this week as I've taken the week off to chill out (and do a bit of painting and gardening) so my access to the web is more limited than usual.

Here's a fun World Cup game. I was beaten in the final against Belgium.

John Entwistle R.I.P.- Who's next Daltry or Townsend?

V. busy again today. Here's something skittish to amuse you - USA sports news reports from the World Cup.

I want one of these for my car...or maybe this one is more me..

If you like skyscrapers then you'll love www.SkyscraperPage.com. Check out the diagram for Paris; it shows just how impressive the Eiffel tower is when set against the modern buildings in the La Defense area of the city. Nothing for Ireland of course. I did notice however that the site also includes the giant Buddah statue that was destroyed by the Taliban last year.

The World's Smallest Political Quiz. It tells me that I am "Left-Liberal" but I knew that anyway.

Busy day today - lots of work to do plus I expect to take a couple of hours off to watch Brazil vs Turkey.

WorldCon perhaps? This is seriously bad news for at least 17,000 people and probably a lot more.

Two bits of culture I forgot to comment on last week: The Spiderman movie and Pete Yorn's debut album "musicforthemorningafter". In their own way, both of these productions succeed perfectly because the fundamentals are executed brilliantly; whether it's the well paced story at the heart of the Spiderman film or the classic songwriting and unfussy production on Pete Yorn's record. Nothing we haven't seen before in either, but they deliver the mainstream with a quality and integrity that is becoming increasingly rare.

Dingbat TD Ned O'Keefe wants to rollback the extension in Irish pub drinking hours that came into effect last year. In fact, deputy O'Keefe proposes that the restriction on selling drink after 11:30 and a closing time of 12:00 be applied to nightclubs also. He blames the extension in opening hours for the increase in crime and disorder in Irish society. In case you have forgotten, Mr. O'Keefe is the man who once claimed that the movie 'Babe' posed a serious threat to the pigmeat business in Ireland. Ned who owns a pig farm himself, resigned from a ministerial position in the last Government over his failure to declare a conflict of interest; one suspects if his business interests included owning a pub or club then his position would be very different. Methinks the fellow is neither to be trusted nor taken seriously.

You know - on Friday night I think I was doing much the same as Mr.Fimoculous. i.e. listening to the new Sonic Youth album (which does indeed rock) and watching telly with the sound turned down. However my Nokia isn't one of those new fangled communicators - just a standard 3310. I may have knocked off a few txt msgs on it though.

The secret to one-night stands. Apparently it has a lot to do with wearing trendy shoes.

Something to pass the time if you are stuck on the 'poor' side of the Big Brother house:- Three Ways to Hypnotize a Chicken. Speaking of Big Brother, wasn't it fantastic to see that stuck up bollix Tim relegated to the lentils and cold water zone this week? How is he going to cope without his chum Alex?

According to this news report, it looks like the town of Show Low in Arizona will soon be history.

Rockcritics.com have a discussion forum on the five best uses of "Fuck" in a song. Via Fimoculous.

Freekick game: Pretend you are Ronaldinho and see if you can lob it over the England goalie into the net. Obviously it helps if he's way off his line.

The Straight Dope doesn't always get it right. Looking out my window here in Galway I can only conclude that Summer in Ireland sometimes doesn't start at all.

Wanker alert...Regarding England-Brazil I just hope it's a great game of footie and that if England win it's not by a flukie refereeing decision.

Well we had the potato last week so today it's time for the history of the Carrot. It happens to be one of my least favourite vegetables; apparently we can blame the Afghans for it as well. And for those of you who were interested in the glowing gerkin phenomenon check out the carrot laser.

Enough of the animal postings for now. I went along to the Omniplex to see 'Monster's Ball' last night. A fine if slightly overrated movie. What is the tattoo on Halle (didn't deserve the Oscar) Berry's ass?

Farmers, how hot is your cow?

Another reason why I don't like dogs. I know this is an exception and I know it's not the animal's 'fault' but it still makes me angry when I read stories like this.

Do female pigs have six-minute orgasms? Once again the Straight Dope has all the answers.

The Cricket Challenge. I read somewhere that because of their fat juicy legs they are one of the nicest species of insects to eat. I'll stick to spuds myself. This and other cool links via Funjunkie.

Here's a great album review from a Nirvana fan who borrowed the wrong Sonic Youth record from his uncle's collection. It makes me proud to be a fan of the band.

Check out Liam (Shay's brother) Given's great account of that fateful night in Suwon on www.shay-given.com. In spite of the match result, the team and supporters enjoyed themselves afterwards in a manner expected of the Irish:-

"Next thing you know, Shay has swapped his shirt for Austin Daly's Dun Na nGall GAA shirt and he's kissing the crest, standing on top of a table. The place went buck mad. Shay was sweating so hard (he would sweat like a racehorse at the best of times) that the droplets of sweat were tumbling out of the sleeves of the Donegal top. I had to move my lager a couple of times.."

The Rockstar Game sounds like it's going to be a great little time waster. Yes, I've just signed up and my band has hit the road.

I like this guy's Blog and I like what he's listening to.

Instructions and advice for the young bride. This American pamphlet was written in 1894 so it's a tad dated...

Not quite the Queen of Blogs.

Cool experiments with food. I particularily like the luminescent (or is it florescent) Gherkin. Via the Plastic Cat.

Well as I predicted, Ireland held Spain 1-1 until penalties. Unfortunately the result went the wrong way for us and Spain go through to the quarter finals. I think the Spanish now have a great chance of making the final; hopefully they'll go all the way but they'll (probably) have to beat Italy first.

Prediction for Sunday's match - Ireland 1 Spain 1 -- We go through on penalties. Of course my predictions have been way off the mark so far. I still reckon Italy will win the World Cup.

I'm just back from a lunch of battered plaice and chips so here's today's history lesson.

If you're looking for love a bit of copper tubing can come in handy. Read the full instructions here.

Ink Syndicate's Real-Time AP New Onionizer : Convert the latest news into stories you might see on The Onion.

How difficult it is for the British Government to be serious about the "War against Terrorism" when their own police, intelligence staff and army personnel have colluded with terrorist organisations in the assasination of British citizens. Read the shameful details here.

Beckham Gets Revenge. Well he did, but not quite in the manner depicted.

This girl is very cute. Just thought I'd let you know. I like her blog layout too - cool colour scheme.

Bejing's most popular newspaper fooled by a story on "the Onion" - issues retraction.

Saw the movie "Unfaithful" last night - it was only so so. Good first half but but it suffered from a weak and inconsequential third act. Diane Lane steals the show for her incredibly sexy performance. But then I thought her performance in Judge Dread was incedibly sexy as well. Age has not whithered her one bit.

Apparently I'm a five:-
take free enneagram test

Oooh errr - alledgedly, US vice president Dick Cheney once was partial to a bit of 'human hunting'...

"Cheney was talking as he paced around me, "I could stuff you and mount you like a jackalope and call you a two legged dear. Or I could stuff you with this (he unzipped his pants to reveal his oversized penis) right down your throat, and then mount you. Which do you prefer?"

The Beatles poured evil into the World (via Koi ) - Congrats Paul on your big day.. ...It was cool that you elected to get married in a former niteclub previously called 'Annabel's on the Bog' - once home to electronic music pioneer Desmond Leslie.

I remember the comic Ross Noble recounting how he bought a figurine of Padre Pio when he was in Knock last year; he reckoned it would complete his Star Wars' dolls collection as he was missing Obi Wan Kinobi. Well Ross would love www.jesuschristsuperstore.net. But surely God could afford something better than an AK-47 - maybe a light sabre even?

The USA may be Israel's closest ally but that doesn't stop the Israeli government running a massive spy ring in America. At the center of it is a network of Israeli subsidized telecommunications companies: Read about it on www.whatreallyhappened.com.

World Cup Lookalikes.

It was a big night last night. Ireland beat Saudi Arabia 3-0 to qualify for the second round of the World cup. I took the afternoon off work to watch the match in the Quays pub in Galway. 12 hours of solid celebrations followed. Suffice to say I'm paying for it now...

This is exciting. The new Sonic Youth album 'Murray Street' will be in the shops soon. Jim O'Rourke is now effectively a fully paid up member of the band and their last few records were brilliant so this one should be great too.

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I purchased Gemma Hayes' new album "Night on my Side" at the weekend. I like it. While the sound is quite different to the subtle acoustic music on her brilliant debut EP 4.35 am, the fuller band sound actually suits her songs in so far as it covers up the weakness of her lyrics. There is something about the album that makes it more than the sum of it's parts, although individually the songs may seem unremarkable at first, the album demands repeated listens - revealing something new on each play. All told, it's worth checking out; she's an exciting new talent. Save 4 or 5 Euro and get the CD cheap on CDwow.ie. And if you want a preview, dotmusic has a mpeg of an acoustic session by her.

Oh my God..It took three chops for him to sever it completely? Read this leg crossing story here.

The new series of Big Brother is proving interesting. The producers have decided to stir it up by segregating the group into 'rich' and 'poor' sides. Hopefully this will accentuate the conflict that is already brewing between some of the contestants. However it's unfortunate that many of them are so unrelentingly dull. Brian Sewell has written a scathing article on the housmates describing them as "post-adolescent dolts inclined to squalor, selfish in impulse, sex-obsessed, with no sense of community, no manners and, to put it bluntly, irredeemably common or worse". Great stuff.

Are you a flirt? Maybe there is there room for improvement in your flirting technique? Never fear, the Social Issues Research Centre has published a handy guide to help you. Via Instapundit.

The resurgence of sectarian street violence in Belfast over the last few nights is very disturbing. Is it just a cooincidence that loyalist ring leader Johnny 'Mad Dog' Adair was released a few weeks ago? Just a question.

Tell me how you drive and I'll tell you what kind of an idiot you are...courtesy of one Bruno Bozzetto.

24 is possibly the best program on telly these days and indeed it is the only thing that I make an effort to watch regularily. However it's now 3pm on the show and Jack probably hasn't slept in 24 hours - will there be a few episodes without him while he takes a nap? The same question applies to virtually all the main characters.

I saw David Fincher's latest movie Panic Room a few days ago. It was entertaining but lightweight. And there is a scene with cooking gas which is just totally unbelievable. Good to see unrecognisable country music dude Dwight Yokam get a nice role as the bad guy.

Team talk radio offer a good World cup coverage - including, at the moment, live commentary of the France - Uruguay match. (Don't tell FIFA).

What was ITV thinking when it enlisted Gazza as a pundit for its World cup coverage? Mary Hannigan has a piece in yesterday's Irish Times which evaluates his performance nicely.

Maybe the Slovenian manager should have called Mick McCarthy and asked for his advice on how to handle a troublesome star player - Slovenia's World Cup plans in disarray as tearful coach resigns

Who needs Big Brother when you have blogwhore: the webgame?

What the fuck?? I've heard about this before but this Dophin seems particularly confused - he can differentiate between male swimmers and female swimmers but has difficulty figuring out that they aren't dophins??

Robbie Keane's last minute goal earns Ireland a richly deserved draw against Germany. The country has gone apeshit in celebration. BTW I went to the pub to watch it.

I'm debating where to go to watch the match - go to the pub to get the atmosphere but maybe not such a good view, the canteen at work where they have laid on a big screen for us or to a friends house. Too early to start drinking (and I have to work later) so availability of drink not much of a factor.

It's a big match day for Ireland today. I think we really need to beat Germany or we're in trouble as the Germans and Cameroon could play for a draw in the last match to deny Ireland a place in the next round. Only two and a half hours to go till kickoff when the whole country will come to a standstill (save for those poor sods doing their final exams).

Ryanair have a sale on today and tomorrow - tickets from £9. I might take them up on their offer. Edinburgh or Brussels might be nice....

South Korea beat Poland today 2-0. It was a somewhat surprising result and Chris at www.worldcupblog.com suggests that the manner of the Polish defeat arouses suspicion of match fixing.

I'm considering placing an order for Stephan Wolfram's sensational book "A New Kind of Science" - here's a perceptive review of it by Ray Kurzweil.

It's been a while since the last toilet humour related posting so here's a poop related blog. Via Memepool.

Still trying to cope with the stress and strain of losing Roy Keane from the Irish World Cup squad? Well the good people at the PRC are laying on special counselling services.

Ireland had a famous 'victory' by drawing their game against Cameroon, Mayo put up a brave show against Galway in the GAA Championship and last but not least I celebrated my birthday with a few jars. All in all not a bad weekend.