Absolutely hilarious book reviews from Henry Raddick - via memepool.

I have experienced at first hand the peddling of falsehoods and blatant impersonation that candidates will stoop to in order to garner votes. Yesterday evening while watching Coronation St. (Dev telling the truth?? What's that about?) I heard the now regular clatter of the letter box as it received the daily dose of election related pamphlets. I looked out the window and noticed two persons walking out of the driveway. Upon examination I discovered that the pamphlets were from Fianna Fail and included a little card that read something like 'Sorry I missed you when I called. Please consider me for your No.1 preference. Signed Margaret Cox'. This is a lie - I was obviously in the house at the time. Additionally this may well be impersonation as I'm pretty sure that neither of the people I witnessed was Mrs. Cox. Of course maybe she called earlier and subsequently sent her party apparatchiks to tie up the loose ends as it where. At any rate she's not getting my vote. ... not that I have one in that constituency anyway.

From the Antaoiseach.com message boards. Here's an interesting discussion on the Sinn Fein candidate in Roscommon - a Mr. Paul Whelan who apparently was chairman of the Fianna Fail cumann in UCG in 1996/97.

Irish general election time again yipee! Spinnin' doctorin' spindoctorin' babykissin' doorbellin' promisin' good times are here again.......except we all know the boom is over, crime is spiraling, the national finances are looking shaky, hospital waiting lists are a disgrace. Bring back Charlie..he was here before.

So how does the proportional representation system work anyway? - RTE has a handy guide.

Giving the electorate a voice on the web - www.antaoiseach.com

Millitary photos of a US attack on a Taliban armoured personnel carrier. Via core39. Horrendous stuff.

To you ladies out there who are thinking of getting a manicure - read this story and you will think twice about it.

A fine sporting tradition....streakers Hall of Fame.

Apparently FARC are openly claiming affiliation with the IRA. It's right here on their website.

Ever wonder about Ireland and the phallic continuum? - well then put this in your pipe and smoke it.

News just in about a bomb outside a KFC in Athens...perhaps the Chicken Liberation Front is involved?

Some details on the US Congress hearing on the IRA/Columbia connections - Committee on International Relations. Via Instapundit.

Schoolboy humour of the day...why women have their place on the golfcourse too! If you haven't seen it anywhere else, see it here.

The rigours of being an NSync fan - from the Washington Post.

To prepare for tonight's show, Roxanne has fasted for most of the day because she's worried that a full stomach, combined with the excitement of seeing 'N Sync in the flesh, will cause her to throw up. Also, she refrained from speaking this afternoon to keep her vocal cords fresh and scream-ready.

Do you know where Jesus is?

Once you've installed the pub in your garden shed, why not build a monorail to transport your friends around your back yard? This man did.

The Irish Times reports that Ireland's online government services have been ranked in the top 10 in a study by Accenture published today. Thats all very well - however the single online transaction I made six months ago to a public department (a submission to the revenue services) seems to have disappeared into an internet powered black hole.

For some reason I find this story highly amusing. Fidel Castro and the Mexician president having a schoolboy squabble!

I've been meaning to do something with this site - change the template, create a table of links etc. etc. ..maybe this week I'll get around to it... ,hmm to add some colour to the site here's a picture of the sleeve of the best album from the last five years.

Pamela Anderson demands upgrade to Hepatitis DD! Check out this months edition of the consistently excellent Evil Gerald.

Have you seen this girl?

Great news - I found a copy of Wilco's new album 'Yankee Hotel Foxtrot' in the record store on Saturday. It doesn't disappoint. Heres a good review - written before the album was released.

This one seems to be doing the rounds:-

The difference between the way the British and the Americans deal with Tourette's Syndrome:

First take a look at the American site:

http://www.tourettes.com

The British seem to take a slightly different approach to Tourette's ...

http://www.tourettes.co.uk

More on Jenin - here's an interview with one of the Palestinian terrorists who was involved in the fight. I for one, no longer doubt that the IDF (most of whom are reservists) faced an enemy of exteme viciousness. Here's the guys answer when asked about the ambush that killed 13 soldiers:-

"They were lured there," he says. "We all stopped shooting and the women went out to tell the soldiers that we had run out of bullets and were leaving." The women alerted the fighters as the soldiers reached the booby- trapped area.

"When the senior officers realised what had happened, they shouted through megaphones that they wanted an immediate cease-fire. We let them approach to retrieve the men and then opened fire.

"Some of the soldiers were so shocked and frightened that they mistakenly ran towards us."

Thanks to Sgt. Stryker for the link.

Here's an alternative angle on the supposed massacre in Jenin. This account in the Jerusalem Post from an IDF soldier makes interesting reading. Via Tal G.

For the man who has everything -a pub in your back garden.

Looks like J-Lo wants to take a Shannon cruise. Since I'm already planning to go on one in June or July, I hereby extend an invitation to the lovely Jennifer to join me and my friends for a relaxing weekend boating. I personally would love to confirm or deny the allegation that she has an alien implant in her butt.

An episode of the A-Team I've just created:-

My A-Team Episode Synopsis
The doctor's lampshade
by Kieran


On tonight's A-Team, Mr. T has an old friend who's a doctor. But his friend has a big problem. A rival doctor is trying to drive the friend out of business. The rival has already buggered his friend's uncle, and tried to steal a lampshade.
The rest of the team arrives to help. Murdock, is tremendously attracted to the pretty girl who works with the doctor, but she prefers Face. To further complicate matters the team is being chased by the President of Argentina.

The A-Team has a fight with the men of the rival doctor. Face says, ''Take that boyo..''. Mr. T throws two guys through a window. Murdock gets a black eye and Face doesn't even break a sweat.

But the A-Team is captured when the rival's boss, Henry Horse, shows up with twelve guys carrying uzis. The A-Team is locked in a toll booth. Murdock says, ''Aw shit...what are we gonna do now?''. Hannibal comes up with a plan. They build an armored tugboat out of crankshafts and odds 'n ends.

The A-Team escapes and goes into Henry Horse's territory, guns a-blazing. ''All I wanted was build a canal of gold, and that lampshade was the key.'' complains Henry Horse, as the A-Team leaves him tied up for the President of Argentina.

''Fuck that for a game of soldiers.'' says Mr. T.

Now go create your own episode of the A-Team!

I have recently taken possession of an old Apple Macintosh LC which was destined for the rubbish tip. Unfortunately the machine is password protected on booting so over the last couple of days I've been trawling the web in an effort to figure out how to disable or by-pass this password. It has every appearance of being a trickier job than I frist expected. This unfortunate gentleman encountered the same - predicament. Heres hoping that I have better luck.

Just bought the new album by Badly Drawn Boy - the soundtrack to 'About a Boy'. I'm currently in the middle of my first listen- track 6 to be exact...and it sounds great. Although that may not be a good thing - I tend to get bored with an album quickly if its immediately accessible. So be it. Next thing is to read the book before the film arrives. (I never read novels if I've seen the movie first). Can't start it until I finish 'The Tipping Point' though. Jeez I feel under pressure.

Actually - I went into town with the intention of buying Wilco's new album but I guess I'm a little premature - it'll probably be another week or so before it hits the shops. I listened to it already when they steamed it over the web last year so I know how good it is.

Think you can tell your females from your shemales? Well take this quiz (it is clean). I scored 13 out of 16. Pretty good if I say so myself.

Breaking news from Korean Central News Agency of DPRK(Democratic People's Republic of Korea) - Camping begins at children's camps!. Exciting stuff isn't it?

This has to be one of the coolest websites for a movie I've ever seen. Its for the film 'Donnie Darko'. Can't wait to see it.

Everyone knows that game about the degrees of separation between Kevin Bacon and any other actor. Well the folks at the University of Virginia have built the Oracle of Bacon to work it all out for us. And this generic engine will do it for every actor.

Still on the UFO/Aliens theme - I just submitted my info to the Abductalizer. With a score of 9.14 it appears that I'm am currently in the process of being abducted.. Ohh it feels nice!

Why is it that a disproportionate number of UFO sightings and 'Alien Abductions' occur in the USA and sightings in Ireland are very rare? Probably a function of the taste for publicity that the Yanks have in abundance. Well it appears that there was a UFO sighting in Galway on January 15th this year. Sounds like it was the Dublin to Galway flight - probably delayed by an hour as is common.

The Coen Brother's movie 'The Big Lebowski' happens to be one of my faves. So imagine my delight when I chanced upon 'the Big Lebowski Random Quote Generator'!

News just in! Maverick Swiss scientist has pin-pointed the location of an alien implant in J-Lo's ass!

Apparently Ireland was not consulted about the new European arrest warrant proposals. These must now become law by the end of 2003. What happened to pinciples of democracy? If this story grows legs then it will be a serious blow to the chances of the referendum on the Nice Treaty being passed by the Irish electorate second time around. Read the Irish Times report.

The tragic cycle of violence in Israel continues - yet another female suicide bomber attack in Jerusalem this afternoon. Do 27 virgins await the female martyrs too?

Just a thought. Has the allied bombing campaign invoked or contributed to seismic disturbance in Afganistan? Is it even possible? - those Daisycutters do pack a punch. There are reports of another quake today.

Stuff I bought recently which I recommend:-

1. The Glow Pt. 2 - Microphones : This is an epic, brilliant record. Reminds me of v.early Dinosaur Jr. without the heavy metal guitars - and it's a concept album which is always a good thing. Post rock in a real way.

2.. Life is full of Possibilities - DNTEL : Normally I don't listen to electronica but this is surprisingly fine (probably cos it has real songs coloured with that experimental indie ethos I love.)

3. Neon Golden - The Notwist: Great... Germans mit electronicsoundz but in a New Order-ish way with the same kind of distorts Radiohead applied on Kid A except this has songs....

Think you have good ball control skills? - try this game. I could only manage 7.

Here we have the script for Star Wars: Attack of the Clones. At least it appears to be a section of the script - it may well be a hoax. I haven't read it all yet. Reports from people who have seen the movie say it's one of the best Star Wars movies yet. At least it couldn't possibly be worse than that steaming pile of shit "The Phantom Menace".

The mention of Greil Marcus in the post below got me thinking about the late great - indeed the greatest ever - rock writer, the incomparable Lester Bangs


Several years ago during my formative teenage years I received a copy of his collected writings 'Psychotic Reactions and Caburetor Dung' - posthumously published but edited by the aforementioned Mr. Marcus. The book is highly recommended - particularily if you are interested in rock and roll (or jazz) as an expression of teenage rebellion, alienation and general fuckedupness. Lester wrote about punk rock years before there was punk rock. It is rock and roll criticism as literature - check out 'Of Pop and Pies and Fun' - his brilliant review of one of my favourite records ever - The Stooges 'Fun House' - it's more than a review it's 'A Program for Mass Liberation'...


To quote LB....
'......Fun House is one of those rare albums that never sits still quite long enough to actually solidify into what it previously seemed. Not always immediately accessible, it might take some getting into, but the time spent is well repaid. Because properly conceived and handled noise is not noise at all, but music whose textures just happen to be a little thicker and more involved than usual, so that yo u may not hear much but obscurity the first time, but various subsequent playings can open up whole sonic vistas you never dreamed were there. '

When you've finished with that - check out his inspirational piece on the record that had most significance in his life ....Astral Weeks.

Virtual nose picking - the wonders of the web continue...

Fantastic gig last night. Pound for pound the Handsome Family are one of the best live artistes around. Great songs (Greil Marcus has described them as 'the Beatles of Alt-Country') and Brett has one of the most spinechillingly good voices out there. And check out the Rennie's lyrics:- pure poetry ...here's 'Cathedrals'..

The Cathedral in Cologne looks like a spaceship
like the hand of God falling from the sky
a 1000 stone-carved saints hang like icicles
but icicles don't take 1000 years to die

and everyone who ever worked on this Cathedral
or even spent a moment walking by
everyone of us is swept away like breadcrumbs
what comfort does it bring, soaring towers left behind

there's a fiberglass castle in Wisconsin
where kids race go-karts around a moat
once we went up there in December
when every waterslide and fudgeshoop was closed

hoping to feel love under the icicles
all we did was drink in an empty bar
but stumbling drunk we crawled back to our motel room
and I fell against you and felt your beating heart

snow was slowly falling on the ice machine
and the moon shone hazy through the pines
but there were lounge chairs thrown into the empty pool
and a dog chained to a tree barking at the sky

I'm off to see the Handsome Family tonight. I'm looking forward to it - I've seen them three times now and they are consistently excellent.

Transcripts of every Dail or Seanad (thats the Irish parliament) debate ever! The search tool is useful to track down references to your local drainage scheme...

Big piece in the NY Times yesterday on the situation with the Catholic church in Ireland - Scandal and Social Change Leave Irish Church Adrift

I suspect that Dubya has misjudged the situation in the middle east. For sure his little speech last night will only serve to aggravate the extremists -

From the Lebanese Daily Star

George W. Bush committed the United States on Thursday to a more active involvement in Middle East trouble-shooting efforts, but a slight to Yasser Arafat and emphatic sympathy for Israel shook the credibility of the new peace-brokering bid even before it began.

And of course most Europeans are still suspicious of his intellectual capacity and downright suitability for the huge responsibility he holds - for a humorous angle check out this satirical flash from James Parsons

Flasher escapes after being caught in his own zipper! Now theres a headline. Check out the story in the Virginian Pilot here.

We should all be worried about the escalation in violence in the West bank over the last week. In order to get some local perspective on the situation there I checked out some of the Middle East media sources on the web. Here's a good review of the Israeli and Arab press from the Lebanese Daily Star newspaper.

How many people do you share a shower with each year? Well this guy managed 100! ..and persuaded them to have their photo taken....don't worry it's all very clean..forgive the pun!

20 years after the Falklands war and it's good to see that Argentina hasn't given up it's claim to them. Obviously it's not going to make the mistake of launching an 'invasion' again - but would the British go to war if it happened today? I'd expect Blair would only send the troops in with the assistance of the Americans. Check out the story here.

Chatrooms, perverts and make-believe horny teenage girls - those with delicate sensibilites be warned but "Amber Forever" will make you laugh out loud!

Easter for some reason is my least favorite holiday of the year. Maybe its got something to do with the 'dry' friday ...which of course is not just one day out the year. It's the friday of a long weekend and therefore one of the top ten fridays of the year - and hence potentially one of the top twenty top 'drinking' days of the year. And of course there's a lot of religion around too - something which tends to aggravate my repressed catholic guilt...

Well its over now - and I'm glad to say I survived it. Which is more than can be said for Liz Bowes aka the Queen Mother R.I.P. Now I'm no royalist, (let alone a Loyalist) but considering that our country did not leave the commonwealth until 1949, it should be remembered that she was the wife of the last King who had dominion over Ireland. Is this important?..probably not - but the fact that this goes unrecogised in our national media does in a small way reflect the historical revisionism that the political establishment in Ireland has sought to perpetuate. And it is ironic that the weekend of her death coincides with the anniversary of the primary event subject to and central to this revisionism.